You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
