I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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