i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
