Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
