i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So many bounce houses so little time
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
