I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
