this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
