It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
