In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Who died my cat blue again?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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