Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
