Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize