got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
