I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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