dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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