I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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