I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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