What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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