I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize