apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
