I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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