he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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