I wannas sexs uuuuu
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
