I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
