just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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