its not stalking. its research.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
