I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
