I think I just saw someone hide a body.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
