i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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