anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
