Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize