omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize