No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
