just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize