I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
