i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
