Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The adults are the big ones right?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
