Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
