and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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