I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
