There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I have already put on my inside pants.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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