I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize