Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We left the knife in your bed.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
