Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
