We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
