Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
