I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
