I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
