I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
