thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
