I must be too annoying 4 u.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
