Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
