youre lurking in front of me
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
