if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
