The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
