he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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