Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
