What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
