Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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