This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
