ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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