but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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