I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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