you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
