I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
