bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Who died my cat blue again?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
