sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize