Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
